7 ways to fill your own cup this valentine’s day
Valentine's Day is a day associated with romance and love. Even from primary school, children are encouraged to give cards and gifts to their crushes, and throughout high school there was always some Valentine’s Rose delivery where the majority of us were left year after year with the reminder that they had no secret admirer, myself included.
Yet, being the romantic I am and deep lover of love, I still held firmly to this deeply engrained romanticization of how my husband or partner would romance me and show me love. Having watched all the fairytales and romance movies, I had formed this belief that love meant being bestowed with gifts, being sent flowers, regular wining and dining, and of curse grand gestures of love…. Especially on Valentine’s Day! However, it’s safe to say my lived experience has not matched my conditioned expectations and I was left with grave sense of disappointment year after year and a general sense of lack in my romance department in despite having experienced two long-term relationships and numerous boyfriends in my life!
One romantic gesture I had always wished and desired to receive from a lover, was the surprise rose petal salt bath with candles and wine, not a particularly difficult gesture one would think right? And yet I waited, and waited and waited…. Until one day, I said “Fuck it! You know what, I don’t need a man to run me a romantic bath, I can do it for myself!”
And I tell you what, I have never looked back!
For in that moment, I had one of the most profound epiphanies. And that was the realisation that it was not only within my power to fill my own cup and to show me the romantic love I crave, but it was my responsibility to be the source of this! The reality is that only you know what you really need AND you are best positioned to see that you receive what it is that you need. It is also a reality that people have different love languages, different values, different capacities when it comes to how they show and express love and it is not reasonable to rely upon our romantic partner as the sole source of meeting our needs for connection, love, intimacy, or romance!
Whether you're in a relationship or happily single, taking time to nurture your own well-being and bestow yourself with self-love and romance is essential. So with Valentine’s Day just around the corner, why not take this as a golden opportunity to celebrate self-love and care by romancing yourself and filling your own cup. Here are 7 ways you might fill your own cup this Valentine’s Day:
1. Romantic Bath/Ritual Bath
It is no surprise that this is no. 1 on my list. Running myself a romantic ritual bath is one of my most favourite ways to romance myself and show up for myself in a nurturing loving way. Those of you who have been following me for a while, will know I am a big advocate of a regular ritual bath practice to support self-care and overall wellness and this is why I created my handmade ritual bath range Salts Sage and Selenite. My Love Yourself and Devine Feminine Rising Blend would make the perfect accompaniment to romancing yourself this Valentine’s Day.
2. Date Yourself
Dating myself was a practice I started about 3 years ago, not long after I commenced my regular ritual bath practice. This is such a beautiful way to really honour yourself and what you need. You can do the things you enjoy without having to worry about what anyone else wants to do. And if you are in a marriage and/or have children, this may well become your monthly reprieve just for yourself as it has for me. And I can tell you, it has been the most kind gesture I could give myself.
3. Prioritize Loving Self-Care
Self-care looks different for everyone, but it's essential to prioritize activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. Whether it's getting a massage, taking going for a walk in nature, or indulging in your favorite hobby, make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
4. Set Boundaries
Use this Valentine’s Day to practice saying “NO” to things that drain your energy or compromise your well-being. Setting boundaries is a form of self-respect and allows you to prioritize your needs and values without feeling guilty.
5. Sensual Self Touch
Now you can take this tip as far as you like, however, the self-touch I am really referring to here is that gentle, nurturing, loving, intimate exploration of your entire body. Take some time to put on some music that feels sensual to do. Put on something that makes you feel sexy or strip right down. Go slow and then even slower again, soft and even softer again - gently exploring your body without any end game. Show your body the love and adoration it deserves and craves! You might like to explore with soft frabrics or any other tool that feels sensual to you.
6. Sing and Dance
Get your body up and shake that booty!!! Put on the song or music that makes you feel sexy and sexual and embody your inner sexual prowess! Take your favourite love songs and sing them to your gorgeous self and mean every single word of it!
7. Practice Self-Compassion and Acknowledgement
Be kind to yourself, and don’t compare your love life to anyone else’s. Treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding you would offer to a friend facing a similar situation. Remember, it's okay to make mistakes and to be imperfect – that's what makes you human and that’s what makes you “YOU”. And you best be sure to take some time to really celebrate your strengths, acknowledge your accomplishments, and embrace your uniqueness and the incredible, worthy, lovable, divine human being that you are!
AND YES, YOU CAN BUY YOUR OWN FLOWERS! This is another way I show myself love regularly and of course, the beautiful petals also make their way into my romantic ritual baths - ahhh just bliss! So this Valentine's Day, I invite you to make a commitment to fill your own cup with love, compassion, and joy. Embrace the journey of self-discovery and let your light shine bright.
Sending you love and positivity this Valentine's Day!
Love Kara!
